How do I tell my little sister to lose weight?Good afternoon everyone!
I am in a bit of a predicament. My little sister and I are pretty close, although we only met 4 years ago. I am 21 yo, shes 16. When we first met we exchanged baby photos and everything. I noticed that as she got older, the more weight she put on. Shes a great girl. Very smart, well spoken, and has a pretty face. The thing is, she really needs to lose weight.
When we first met she commented that she felt like the "fat" sister, I assured her that all she had to do was watch her diet and work out daily, plus, at that time, she wasnt that big. Really, she was "thick".
We fell out of contact for a while and I just saw her recently, after a 2 year hiatus.
She. is. huge.
She is morbidly obese, extremely large.
I didnt even know what to say when i saw her, so i didnt say anything. I am so pissed about this because its obvious that she doesnt like her body; shes always talking about how much she hates her body. But for some reason, no one will sit her down and tell her to shape up. I hate to place blame, but ill do it anyway. Its her mothers fault. Her mother is, herself, morbidly obese - about 400lbs at 5'3''. Instead of making sure her daughter doesnt follow down the same unhealthy path, she stocks the fridge with sodas, pies and fried chicken.
Her mother once told me a story about how she would give my sister PIGS FEET at 9 months old. When I heard that I wanted to slap her in the face. Why would you do that to your own child? Its not even the fact that it tastes terrible, but pigs feet is 99.9% pure fat! Its like she crippled my sister before she even had a chance.
My sister has never had a boyfriend, never had a date, and generally feels like s.hit all the time. Her personality is stellar, and her face is to die for, but you know how boys that age are, they dont even look her way. It really gets to her self esteem. Also, she has asthma. Now, Its blatantly obvious to me (a medical student) that weight loss would damn near cure my sisters "asthma" (her personal situation - not a blanket statement). But if you leave it to her mother to tell, she cant so much as step on a treadmill before having an aneurysm. Her mother cripples her into thinking she is this sickly creature.
Once while spending the night, her mother woke me in the middle of the night to tell me my sister had a fever. A fever, that is, of 101.0. I assured her that the body's average temperature is 98.6. She then assured ME that my sisters AVERAGE temp is usualy 97.0. I told her that even then there would only be a 4 degree difference. On a (then) 14 year old girl, she was perfectly fine.
Apparently I didnt know what the hell I was talking about, because she took her to the ER that same night. For a temp of 101.0. The doctors never even saw them - the nurses told them to go home, and return if it got worse.
You see what Im up against? I cant stand that kind of babying.
Her mother tells her that she should just be happy with her body the way she is, and she should be. But at some point the rose colored shades have got to come off. She is currently 5'6'', 275lbs. Its just not healthy, and if no one else is gonna tell, I guess its gonna have to be me.
Now if you cant already tell, I dont sugar my thoughts. I just got out of the army and am still getting used to not being so "blunt" about my thoughts. How do I tell her to put the cinnabon down and strap on an ankle-weight?
ps - I love to work out and wouldnt mind helping her get her diet on track, and showing her around the gym.
Thanks
-chebrew2000
Your sister is being abused by her mother. Your sister is being emotionally blackmailed into eating by her mother. She isn't strong enough to break free of her mother's influence. You could talk to your sister and ask her if she'd like to start an exercise routine with you. You could walk a few miles together 3-4 times a week. I don't think it would work unless your sister is able to stand up to her mother and tell her she doesn't want to be fat anymore and she's only going to eat healthy food. Ask her mother if she'd like to join you. She needs to be in on this for it to work.
-FdR57
That's exactly what I would do. I have the same problem except not as "big"... My sister is about 5'6" and she's pretty heavy. My 2 brothers & I are addicted to working out & staying healthy due to the fact that our mother is extremely heavy as well. She is always doing the "yo-yo" dieting which makes it even worse.
Long story short, I have given my sister some workout dvd's & have explained to her that she needs to start taking care of herself. I say to her that in order for someone else to care about you, you need to first focus on caring for yourself & everything should fall into place... As far as diet goes, if her mother continues to buy junk food then working out is pointless basically... Same for my sister she's 21 & still lives with her obese parents. They eat junk food all day everyday- try to get the mom involved & make sure she is on board to help..... Hope you have some luck with it- I know it's hard!
-Ryan
Well, you said she complains about her body. The next time she does, use that as a ticket in and explain to her the health risks with her size, and slowly push the issue. Let her know that you can walk her through it and help her lose weight with a little work. After that, use that conversation as a catalyst, don't let her drop it. That would be my plan of action at least. As for the mother... well... I can't help you there. Perhaps talking to her about how her daughter is going to die if she doesn't lose weight would convince her.
Hope that helps and things can be worked out! :)
-Renuta
How to tell your sister to loose weight ?
My advise :
Do exactly what you intend to do,as you stated above.It's a good ,positive,constructing, thinking.
I personally like the way you care about your sister .Congratulations !
Now,be a brave soldier and take the courage to tell her about your intention !
How ?
In English.
Success ! and best friendly regards from Bucharest,Romania
Sincerely yours,
Rena.
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