waiting for answer. Would be great if you can take a sec and
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For the ladies: How do I overcome my disdain and skepticism with women? (SERIOUS plz)?My senior year of college, I got friendly with and ended up losing my virginity to a woman I knew for about 2 years. Her and I had become friends that fall prior and started to hang out and be real platonic. It came out that she had had a crush on me since she first me met me. Now I deem my self the average guy, having hits and misses in the dating department in college. I was a late bloomer, my first kiss and gf not until I was 19, and then I met other women and played the field quite a bit and briefly dated a few other girls, until I met her.
Several weeks into us dating or whatever you'd like I call it, she invited me and two of her friends up to her parents' cottage for New Years. A lot of the time, I felt kind of left out, but she paid attention to me when it was just her and I. I had kind of known one of her friends, and we all talked alot, but she ended up telling a female friend of mine that I acted very out of character at a restaurant we went to, swearing up a st
Dec 29, 2007 at 8:34 am
storm in public and causing her to be embarrassed. The god honest truth was that i was eating my meal, bored and silent because every time I tried to talk to her and her friends I felt left out still. Plus, the male friend of hers was flirting with her the whole weekend and paid for my meal! When I offered and he turned it down! I was like 'what is going on here'? So finally, in the car after she was like "No, nothing's wrong" She was extremely silent like something happened to her. And she was quiet. This REALLY concerned me because the night before I had developed more feelings for her that I wanted her to be my girlfriend. She ended up telling a close female friend of mine that I acted "very out of character", didn't offer money to pay for things (All NOT true), and didn't help clean up (when I cleaned up lots). She also told her very personal things about my performance (that I will not share,
Dec 29, 2007 at 8:39 am
No guy would want to share it, when this same girl, to my face, told me it was ok. And that when she told me she just wanted to be friends that New Year's Day it was "ok" and understandable because she just wanted to go back to being friends. After we hooked up NewYear's night?
Look, im not an innocent victim. My close female friend I mentioned, her and I had feelings for each other, but weren't together during my "fling" with the girl who bothered me. She ended up telling people that I ignored her pleas for help with her asthma and just "ate pudding" when the truth was I never knew she was asthmatic and she told me she was allergic to a pillow and I had stayed up with her and gave her water and took care of her.
She ended up telling her friends and people around campus that I had called her a whore and stuff when I never talked **** about her to her friends, and I felt that my rep at college was sort of ruined. I had known lots of people. but never felt the same.
Dec 29, 2007 at 8:41 am
Any rate, the four years after finishing school ALL my dates haven't gone past the first. I've tried online and meeting in person and nothing has worked. I haven't had anything resembling anything since and Im flustered. I still have "problems" with that area of my anatomy.
Im currently in therapy for this and while I realize and respect the fact that women have been through loads worse with men and still carry on better than I have, I am not going to make excuses or apologize for my stance on this. The whole ordeal has left me kind of traumatized, there's not a day I don't think about it in 4 years, and im 27 now.
I want to break free and move on, but I feel I can't. I feel like ALL women are like that. On my dates I am nice, polite, personable and not overly flirty. Just "right" flirty. I never get returned calls. I feel much better having got this off my chest, but I felt this girl ruined my life.
I haven't been with another girl sexually since.
How do I break out of my shel
Wait, why is it MY problem? Why is it the way I perceive myself? You're all the ones that say you like it but really want the opposite!
-pickles11119
that girl is a loser, and didnt deserve you. you just got in an unlucky sitiuation. but i would suggest you get more counseling for what you just mentioned. nobody on y/a is going to be able to make your problems go away. you need to deal with how you percieve yourself, and only a trained professional can guide you through the steps to make that possible
-freeze
I know you were asking for a girl but i am not. I am 36 y old male and been down that road. It is a super hard thing to break away from something like that. You need to know it was not you. I have done this a thousand times, i think something is wrond and it is not i am my worst problime. I started lifting about 2 years ago. I had a great time doing it and meet new people male and female. I think you should just get on with your life nomatter what that takes. Remember its not you women are sometimes very out there. Keep up with the therapy it helped me a ton. Just be yourself and it will happpen. If you need more info find me here and let me know i have been there done that and hate to here others going through this hell ot there own,
-karly
Hi McGlovin,
This is tough. This girl you were speaking of seems immature to me. She sounds incapable of even having platonic relationships. I'm going to be frank with you..you need to forget people like her. People that have negative impacts on you need to be omitted. Dating and finding the right girl/guy is hard, but you are young, and you will have lots more dates/opportunities. You seem to have a good head on your shoulders. I think when you find the right person, the pain you are enduring from this girl will ease. You need to remember that, people may take an action, but it is you who determines what emotion you will feel. This explains how very different we all are. The first thing you need to find before you can find the girl you want to love, is the love you have for yourself.
I am a woman and I need to say, not all women are like this. You might want to consider the age group that you date. Why not try dating older women and see if they are more on your page? G/L!
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