Ladies: How do I get over this, why haven't I gotten over it and what's wrong with me?(LONG story, SERIOUS plzLadies: How do I get over this, why haven't I gotten over it and what's wrong with me?(LONG story, SERIOUS plz
Ladies: How do I get over this, why haven't I gotten over it and what's wrong with me?(LONG story, SERIOUS plz
My senior year of college, I got friendly with and ended up losing my virginity to a woman I knew for about 2 years. Her and I had become friends that fall prior and started to hang out and be real platonic. It came out that she had had a crush on me since she first me met me. Now I deem my self the average guy, having hits and misses in the dating department in college. I was a late bloomer, my first kiss and gf not until I was 19, and then I met other women and played the field quite a bit and briefly dated a few other girls, until I met her.
Several weeks into us dating or whatever you'd like I call it, she invited me and two of her friends up to her parents' cottage for New Years. A lot of the time, I felt kind of left out, but she paid attention to me when it was just her and I. I had kind of known one of her friends, and we all talked alot, but she ended up telling a female friend of mine that I acted very out of character at a restaurant we went to, swearing up a st
26 minutes ago - 3 days left to answer.
Additional Details
23 minutes ago
storm in public and causing her to be embarrassed. The god honest truth was that i was eating my meal, bored and silent because every time I tried to talk to her and her friends I felt left out still. Plus, the male friend of hers was flirting with her the whole weekend and paid for my meal! When I offered and he turned it down! I was like 'what is going on here'? So finally, in the car after she was like "No, nothing's wrong" She was extremely silent like something happened to her. And she was quiet. This REALLY concerned me because the night before I had developed more feelings for her that I wanted her to be my girlfriend. She ended up telling a close female friend of mine that I acted "very out of character", didn't offer money to pay for things (All NOT true), and didn't help clean up (when I cleaned up lots). She also told her very personal things about my performance (that I will not share,
18 minutes ago
No guy would want to share it, when this same girl, to my face, told me it was ok. And that when she told me she just wanted to be friends that New Year's Day it was "ok" and understandable because she just wanted to go back to being friends. After we hooked up NewYear's night?
Look, im not an innocent victim. My close female friend I mentioned, her and I had feelings for each other, but weren't together during my "fling" with the girl who bothered me. She ended up telling people that I ignored her pleas for help with her asthma and just "ate pudding" when the truth was I never knew she was asthmatic and she told me she was allergic to a pillow and I had stayed up with her and gave her water and took care of her.
She ended up telling her friends and people around campus that I had called her a whore and stuff when I never talked **** about her to her friends, and I felt that my rep at college was sort of ruined. I had known lots of people. but never felt the same.
16 minutes ago
Any rate, the four years after finishing school ALL my dates haven't gone past the first. I've tried online and meeting in person and nothing has worked. I haven't had anything resembling anything since and Im flustered. I still have "problems" with that area of my anatomy.
Im currently in therapy for this and while I realize and respect the fact that women have been through loads worse with men and still carry on better than I have, I am not going to make excuses or apologize for my stance on this. The whole ordeal has left me kind of traumatized, there's not a day I don't think about it in 4 years, and im 27 now.
I want to break free and move on, but I feel I can't. I feel like ALL women are like that. On my dates I am nice, polite, personable and not overly flirty. Just "right" flirty. I never get returned calls. I feel much better having got this off my chest
UPDATE:
I've been with my fabulous gf for near 3 months.....
This is my longest relationship since college....
I never told her about this piece of shit, and I don't plan to.....
Do you think she could see myself being reserved because of what happened? Like overthinking some things I do?
-By the Bay Syde
I'm so sorry that this happened to you, and its probably a good thing that you recieved therapy for it, and I hope that and your current relationship continues to thrive. Hopefully this girl is the answer you're looking for, and your growing love for her will help to fade the past. I'm glad it helped to get this off your chest, I believe that you treated your previous with great respect, and you were treated wrong and poorly in return. If you ever need to vent more, if it helps,
always here to chat. =] Take care.
-nurse4ever
Give your relationship more time. It's really new. Not all of us are like that. Don't let one person (or a few) get you down. Hold your head up high cuz one day the right one is gonna come along and love you for who you are. If this new girl cares about you then none of what you said will push her away. Things will happen when they're supposed to...just don't give up!!
Me again...just wanted to add----Think about what you are doing-You are letting this person, who you can't stand, affect your life even now. You've got to put her where she belongs...in the past and leave her there. DO NOT give her the satisfaction! Even if she doesn't know you are going through this cuz of her...you know it! Every time she comes up-GET RID OF HER!!!
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