Ladies: How do I get over this, why haven't I gotten over it and what's wrong with me?(LONG story, SERIOUS plzLadies: How do I get over this, why haven't I gotten over it and what's wrong with me?(LONG story, SERIOUS plz
My senior year of college, I got friendly with and ended up losing my virginity to a woman I knew for about 2 years. Her and I had become friends that fall prior and started to hang out and be real platonic. It came out that she had had a crush on me since she first me met me. Now I deem my self the average guy, having hits and misses in the dating department in college. I was a late bloomer, my first kiss and gf not until I was 19, and then I met other women and played the field quite a bit and briefly dated a few other girls, until I met her.
Several weeks into us dating or whatever you'd like I call it, she invited me and two of her friends up to her parents' cottage for New Years. A lot of the time, I felt kind of left out, but she paid attention to me when it was just her and I. I had kind of known one of her friends, and we all talked alot, but she ended up telling a female friend of mine that I acted very out of character at a restaurant we went to, swearing up a st
26 minutes ago - 3 days left to answer.
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storm in public and causing her to be embarrassed. The god honest truth was that i was eating my meal, bored and silent because every time I tried to talk to her and her friends I felt left out still. Plus, the male friend of hers was flirting with her the whole weekend and paid for my meal! When I offered and he turned it down! I was like 'what is going on here'? So finally, in the car after she was like "No, nothing's wrong" She was extremely silent like something happened to her. And she was quiet. This REALLY concerned me because the night before I had developed more feelings for her that I wanted her to be my girlfriend. She ended up telling a close female friend of mine that I acted "very out of character", didn't offer money to pay for things (All NOT true), and didn't help clean up (when I cleaned up lots). She also told her very personal things about my performance (that I will not share,
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No guy would want to share it, when this same girl, to my face, told me it was ok. And that when she told me she just wanted to be friends that New Year's Day it was "ok" and understandable because she just wanted to go back to being friends. After we hooked up NewYear's night?
Look, im not an innocent victim. My close female friend I mentioned, her and I had feelings for each other, but weren't together during my "fling" with the girl who bothered me. She ended up telling people that I ignored her pleas for help with her asthma and just "ate pudding" when the truth was I never knew she was asthmatic and she told me she was allergic to a pillow and I had stayed up with her and gave her water and took care of her.
She ended up telling her friends and people around campus that I had called her a whore and stuff when I never talked **** about her to her friends, and I felt that my rep at college was sort of ruined. I had known lots of people. but never felt the same.
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Any rate, the four years after finishing school ALL my dates haven't gone past the first. I've tried online and meeting in person and nothing has worked. I haven't had anything resembling anything since and Im flustered. I still have "problems" with that area of my anatomy.
Im currently in therapy for this and while I realize and respect the fact that women have been through loads worse with men and still carry on better than I have, I am not going to make excuses or apologize for my stance on this. The whole ordeal has left me kind of traumatized, there's not a day I don't think about it in 4 years, and im 27 now.
I want to break free and move on, but I feel I can't. I feel like ALL women are like that. On my dates I am nice, polite, personable and not overly flirty. Just "right" flirty. I never get returned calls. I feel much better having got this off my chest, but I felt this girl ruined my life.
I haven't been with another girl sexually since.
How do I break out of my shel
Ann, because you know me right?
No, we weren't close because she sucks. Did you even bother reading the question or just make your own assessment on me because im a GUY who is complaining? Guys can complain too. Its ok, really.
Shugsmom, I'm a victim? No, you can go to Hell.
Shugsmom,
There's a few things you should know about me:
I've been on a slew of dates after her and I have not been all quiet. I think I've done well on my first dates, being a gentleman, being personable and being honest. These women on the other hand, obviously didn't think so. That made me think less of you......sorry to be harsh and who are you to tell me I don't confidence in myself? I have lots of good going for me and I go for what i want and it usually never works out, but that means I have zero confidence and im a victim?
I am NOT a victim. And did you have to use caps so much? What are you trying to emphasize? I like how you said for me to "make up" for my failed anatomy with other things. You're very funny, and hypocritical. Women get turned off if "they man" dont have they game on, so you don't expect me to be concerned about that?
How old are you?
-:P ymmf
Dayam, that's WAY too much drama man! Get over her and move on - it's not worth killing yourself over and thinking about her! ALL women are NOT like that, just relax and the right one will come along!
Good luck!
ymmf
-Ann W
It does not sound like you and this girl were all that close. I think you have other problems. Good luck with therapy.
-xoxo
I dont know what to tell you about how to break out of ur shell but us girls like the guy to call back after dates so maybe the next time ur on a date you give the call back...
-cryingintherain
Find someone else that could accept u. Don't u feel bored thinking about the same thing for each single day for the past few years? Don't worry, it's normal to think that u can't move on! But u actually can.. Believe in urself, u can make it.
Find someone better that will treasure u and won't go around telling her friends things that are not true. She is not worth your time. Let go. Find someone new.
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Orignal From: Ladies: How do I get over this, why haven't I gotten over it and what's wrong with me?(LONG story, SERIOUS plz
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