waiting for answer. Would be great if you can take a sec and
answer them
I'm a newly-wed and having some problems, any advice would be greatly appreciated?my husband and i dated a couple of times our sophomore year in high school (06-07). In our Junior year we started dating (september 07) and the August after we graduated high school (09) we got married a year sooner than anticipated because i was deploying for basic training for the air force. about a month in i was discharged for asthma. after i got back we lived with his mom until this past january at which point we found the apartment we currently live in. NOW TO THE PROBLEM: we argue..a lot. like more than normal i guess you could say. and it's always stupid stuff. like "you just got up, walked in the kitchen, came back in here, and now you want me to get you something to drink?" at which point he would say "i'm sorry, i'll get it myself" and he's not a hateful person, but sometimes he just does the dumbest things. and sometimes his attitude gets to me and he doesn't feel like he has one. i know i'm probably the same way...i know why we argue so much more now and we didn't when we were dating...we've figured that part out [we both went through 2 break-ups with each other before this go-around, and we pretty much treated each other like angels would because we didn't want one to leave the other, now that we're married, it's kinda like "i know you're not leaving so now you'll see my true colors" so our true colors are: i get my feelings hurt easy, and he gets mad when this happens because he doesn't think it should have hurt my feelings.] this is not our only problem. we also have a puppy and we argue about how he should be disciplined and trained. among other problems, i know some are just the average "just married' arguements like take out the trash...turn your socks right side out! things like that...basically what i'm sayin is how do i get around the stupid agrivating upsetting often hurtful things he says...?
-missmojo78
You are both just immature. This is why people shouldn't get married until their mid-20's. Really who is going to care about these arguments a year from now? HOPEFULLY no one.
-prettylittlething
You are arguing over petty stuff. Quit it now!!! You need to argue when it's important, drinking, not working, flirting. If you keep it up you will create a wedge between you two and end up divorcing.
-MZ. RO
You married too soon...get some counseling and marriage classes. Your local church should offer that. Good luck!
-jilllpilll
1. Arguing, especially the first year, is normal. You are now living with another human being, and you are trying to figure out the rules with one another.
2. Lay down some rules for arguing. No side issues, stick to the issue, do not add to it, "And another thing....." No name calling, this does not get you anywhere. Get these rules out while you are NOT arguing.
3. Things are going to be said from the both of you that you do not mean. Try not to take it personal, they are being said in the heat of the moment
4. Do NOT use tears. DO NOT CRY. Learn it. Guys hate tears, they think they are a weapon, suck it up
5. YOU have to allow the hurtful things he says get to you or not. Learn to keep it at arms distance.
Jim Brewer said it best "It isn't who you are going to love the rest of your life but who you are going to be patient with"
above all else, keep trying and do not give up, it will get better, but you will always argue, marriage is tough and takes work every day
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Orignal From: Asthma Info: I'm a newly-wed and having some problems, any advice would be greatly appreciated?
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