Made a huge mistake at a family party what do i do now?So i went to a family BBQ today and while i was there everyone was hanging around the outdoor fire place and my younger cousin who is 15 (im 24) began to have what looked like an asthma attack. Several of my family member including myself has very bad asthma so right away my guy older guy cousin (who is a respiratory therapist) began treating her with my inhalers. My mom told me to go wake my uncle up (her dad) and let him know what was going on. He was drunk and it took me a few minutes to get him up. I told him hey jessie can't breathe get up get up. when i finally got him up he was stumbling over to the bathroom where she was and he was kinda yelling at me so i told him "whatever i was told to go get you but i guess you can just let her chock to death!" WELL i guess it was the wrong thing to say cause i didn't even think about this at the time i said it but his first child died like 18 years ago when she was a 2 days old due to respiratory issues (she was a preemie) So he starts screaming at me and telling me im heartless and just scum of the earth and now my whole family is mad at me. What can i do i feel bad... horrible even but i seriously didn't mean it in that way. How do i make things right?
-Lotus
Considering your uncle's situation and the fact that his first child died due to a similar issue, I guess it was probably not the greatest thing to say. However that being said, I don't think it is something that is not easily fixed. What you said probably just came out without you thinking about it because you were so stressed about the situation. I don't think your entire family should be angry at you for this.
To make things better I suggest apologizing first to your uncle and explaining to him that you said that without thinking and because you were really worried about your cousin. Tell him that you never wanted to hurt his feelings and that you understand that it is a sensitive topic for him. I also think you should tell him that it wasn't nice to call you the "scum of the earth" especially since he is part of your family. He could have also said that without thinking and because he was a bit drunk. Basically don't be afraid to confront your family about it and talk because if you keep quiet they will think you don't care about what happened. Hope things get settled.
-wow6
You apologize to your uncle and then to the rest of
the family. That's all you can do, unless they want a
gallon of blood to go along with it.
You give them their space for a while and that
should do it.
-hurricanedeb
Show this to your family, They are wrong---not you. Seems to me that her dad was pretty useless at the time since he was DRUNK people, what in the world was your mother thinking? DRUNKS can do nothing helpful, except react like idiots that they are when they are drunk. I know I just repeated the same thing twice in the last sentence. Your mother or his wife should have handled this, not his niece. You were scared for your cousins life, of course you did not stop to think about your Uncle's past. I think your family owes you an apology. Maybe next time the older ADULTS will try drinking less and will be able to handle a delicate situation like this in the proper way. Your Uncle was a turd and owes you a major apology.
-Rena D
He was drunk and you just saw how they usually behave. He was totally out of order just like every drunk. You were showing frustration and I would have felt the same way you did. Your words hurt h im. His drunkenness hurts everybody. Forget what happened, He will too. If he doesn't, don't worry about it. Drunks are a problem to decent people everywhere.Your family members are used to him behaving the way he did and no one will be mad at you but him (maybe his wife too) She has always protected him like a child and he still is one....
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