Ladies: How do I break out of my dating funk and skepticism?(SERIOUS answers only)?Ladies: How do I break out of my dating funk and skepticism?(SERIOUS answers only)?
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My senior year of college, I got friendly with and ended up losing my virginity to a woman I knew for about 2 years. Her and I had become friends that fall prior and started to hang out and be real platonic. It came out that she had had a crush on me since she first me met me. Now I deem my self the average guy, having hits and misses in the dating department in college. I was a late bloomer, my first kiss and gf not until I was 19, and then I met other women and played the field quite a bit and briefly dated a few other girls, until I met her.
Several weeks into us dating or whatever you'd like I call it, she invited me and two of her friends up to her parents' cottage for New Years. A lot of the time, I felt kind of left out, but she paid attention to me when it was just her and I. I had kind of known one of her friends, and we all talked alot, but she ended up telling a female friend of mine that I acted very out of character at a restaurant we went to, swearing up a st
Dec 29, 2007 at 8:34 am
storm in public and causing her to be embarrassed. The god honest truth was that i was eating my meal, bored and silent because every time I tried to talk to her and her friends I felt left out still. Plus, the male friend of hers was flirting with her the whole weekend and paid for my meal! When I offered and he turned it down! I was like 'what is going on here'? So finally, in the car after she was like "No, nothing's wrong" She was extremely silent like something happened to her. And she was quiet. This REALLY concerned me because the night before I had developed more feelings for her that I wanted her to be my girlfriend. She ended up telling a close female friend of mine that I acted "very out of character", didn't offer money to pay for things (All NOT true), and didn't help clean up (when I cleaned up lots). She also told her very personal things about my performance (that I will not share,
Dec 29, 2007 at 8:39 am
No guy would want to share it, when this same girl, to my face, told me it was ok. And that when she told me she just wanted to be friends that New Year's Day it was "ok" and understandable because she just wanted to go back to being friends. After we hooked up NewYear's night?
Look, im not an innocent victim. My close female friend I mentioned, her and I had feelings for each other, but weren't together during my "fling" with the girl who bothered me. She ended up telling people that I ignored her pleas for help with her asthma and just "ate pudding" when the truth was I never knew she was asthmatic and she told me she was allergic to a pillow and I had stayed up with her and gave her water and took care of her.
She ended up telling her friends and people around campus that I had called her a whore and stuff when I never talked **** about her to her friends, and I felt that my rep at college was sort of ruined. I had known lots of people. but never felt the same.
Dec 29, 2007 at 8:41 am
Any rate, the four years after finishing school ALL my dates haven't gone past the first. I've tried online and meeting in person and nothing has worked. I haven't had anything resembling anything since and Im flustered. I still have "problems" with that area of my anatomy.
Im currently in therapy for this and while I realize and respect the fact that women have been through loads worse with men and still carry on better than I have, I am not going to make excuses or apologize for my stance on this. The whole ordeal has left me kind of traumatized, there's not a day I don't think about it in 4 years, and im 27 now.
I want to break free and move on, but I feel I can't. I feel like ALL women are like that. On my dates I am nice, polite, personable and not overly flirty. Just "right" flirty. I never get returned calls. I feel much better having got this off my chest, but I felt this girl ruined my life.
I haven't been with another girl sexually since.
How do I break out of my shel
-Story Uknown
Be as positive as you can until you believe in it. I guess you can fake til you feel it, but also hope for it. And hold back on the typical negative things or thoughts you would have. I was just thinking the same advice for myself last night when I was chatting with a new guy. I would normally say some depressing or lonely sh** which I did at first, but I thought I would try to take the high road for myself for once because this is a new person, he knows nothing about my past, it's a new start everytime you meet someone new. Just hope that the next person you date is better than the last, but never bring out those attitudes like this new girl was like the last. Be confident, knowing you are a good guy. Go for what you want and dont let someone else change that ultimate plan and cause you to do something you were against doing from the start. Love yourself and find happiness for yourself before getting involved with someone. Find that happy place and dont let the next person take that away you have to know that you'll be fine after this first date whether there's a second or never even a first because you are a great catch. And mix it up a little. Don't do your usual routines or go for that typical girl.
-lisarizer
Maybe you need to continue to fix "you" first, and realize that this rotten female is no longer of importance. And trust me, not all women are like that.....move past what happened and truly accept yourself for you, gain some confidence in yourself, and sooner or later, this right woman will come along and you will know it. Stop judging every woman based on that other woman, and stop expecting us all to be the same. I hope you can truly overcome these things and move on, because it sounds like you are letting yourself stay in the past, and that's not healthy. Good luck to you, may you find happiness.
-.+~*Colie*~+.
Well, I don't believe in sex before marriage, so that totally eliminates your "performance problems" in trying to impress a girl. Just move on and forget about that girl because it sounds to me like you are a really nice guy and she is a loser with nothing to do besides put people down in order to make herself feel better. All women are not like like that... you shouldn't rush things in trying to find a girl (not saying you are), because the right one will come if you are patient. You are a senior in college so move on from the immature college chicks to the grown independent women who need a nice, respectful, man who knows how to treat a woman even outside of the bedroom...
hope this helps ; )
~*Timmy Aces*~
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